Grocery Store Panics

Why do I feel like screaming when
I pick up a sweet potato?
Why am I ready to keel over with nausea while waiting to pay?
What made me snap?

Real life...don't catch up with me yet.
Will I still be able to pay for food?
Will I still be able to pay debt?

What is all this?
I can work hard--
I have worked hard all summer--
I have worked hard for the past 16 years.
But school isn't coming this year.
Do I still know who I am?
Can I still trust when I want control and security?

I can hear thousands of voices telling me not to trust,
telling me to panic, telling me to give up,
but then there's your voice telling me to obey.

Do Justly, Alyssa.
Love mercy, Alyssa
Walk Humbly with me, Alyssa.
Sparrows still fall, Alyssa;
I still see them.
I am still the joyful God who strengthens you.

ABBA, I'm trying to believe, but I'm still weak.
I remember your eternal word:
"Rewarded and credited are all those who take refuge in the Lord."
You're stronger than famines.
You're stronger than recessions.
Be my refuge. Be my shield.

Always.