Fight for Something

Megan Follows made me ache to be a real actress. And I'll still be watching Anne of Green Gables on sick days when I'm 94. She waited a year after a failed audition, tried again, and got the part.

"When it came up the second time, I thought, 'This is very rare that something comes up again that you wanted and it didn't work out so the commitment better be really strong this time. And I better put in the work that I need if I want to get this.' ... Nothing I had gone up for had come anywhere near the possibilities that lay in that character. And I kept thinking 'I've gotta, I've gotta do this. This would be so wonderful for me to do.' And I think it was that determination, and having to fight for something that gave me that extra drive." (5:15- 6:35 below)

Dem's fighting words

Alyssa: God, are you my advocate?

God: Lyss, I'm your advocate. Be still and watch me move.

Alyssa: Really?

God: Go!

Wait

I am waiting.

God has so many promises about waiting and I am trying to understand and believe. New words and perspectives anchor me, orient me, and push me forward. I will share some of my thoughts on the waiting game over the next few weeks.

If I know God, then this waiting game will soon change into the smiling game.

The Smile Game

Here's how it works:

God gets a point every time He makes me smile.
I get a point by writing a poem or a story in response to God's humor.

God is going to win.

Right now I am behind by seven anthologies, but I don't like to quit. I like the game. God likes the game. So we'll keep playing.

GROWN. GONE.

Remember when I was little and I found you everywhere?
You were under my pillow for tuckins.
You were waiting behind the sprinkler
to run round and round to catch me.
You sat with me and watched the day pass by
from branches high above reality.
You were my mud puddle playmate.

But now mud is mud.

I don't find the joy when it splashes me anymore.
I don't wait for you to chase me.
I don't look for you under my pillow.
I don't let you tuck me in.
I'm too busy to watch the day pass by.
I run and run to take hold of it,
but the day leaves me miles behind.
And I'm too dry and breathless to even
remember my name.
I trip, I stumble, I fall,
I bruise, I can't get up,
I can't move.

So You do.

You say my name.
And because you've found me,
the little girl's spirit
and woman's mind finally cry out:
"DadDadDadDadDad
Dad.Dad.Dad.
Daddy!"